Most people know that you don't start telling a story with your mouth full. And no elbows on the table while eating is hopefully also self-evident for everyone. In general, table manners are well known, but there are still some uncertainties.
Of course, no one stops you from doing what you want during an informal dinner with your best friends, but if you are at a table where things are more formal or when you know the other guests less well, it is sometimes useful to know the rules.
Remember: etiquette is not for show, it is mainly about respect for others.
1. Do not mash, do not blow
Although it is a habit for many people, it is not polite to blow into your soup if it is too hot (nor into your coffee, sauce or anything else that may be too hot). Just wait until it cools enough to eat. And you eat soup with a spoon (duh), but from the side of the spoon (less duh). So don't put it in your mouth head-on. Mashing food is also not recommended. Even if you always do it this way because it tastes better.
Bonus tip: only add salt and pepper to your food after you have started eating. Sounds logical? Then pay attention next time when you sit at the table with several people.
2. Excuse me, no makeup at the table
You can of course get ready for a dinner, but don't do it while you're sitting at the table. Do you still want to update something? Or do you just need to go to the toilet? Then excuse yourself and leave the table. Preferably between the courses.
3. Do not put smartphones, cigarettes or other objects on the table
And don't play with your cutlery either.
4. And now we break bread together
Not necessarily together of course, that was a joke. But breaking, that was no joke. Do you get a sandwich at the table? Then you break it into pieces. With the knife that comes with it, take a little butter and place it on the plate. Spread the sandwich with the butter knife that should be there separately. Not the case? Then use the rightmost knife of the cutlery.
Any more bread rules? OK then. Spread and eat piece by piece, not the whole thing at once. Do you want to sop up soup or sauce with your bread? Then stick it on your fork, not with your hands. Well, we didn't make the rules.
5. Napkins, not dusty!
Ahhh, napkins. A long list of rules unfolds:
- Place the napkin on your lap. You can unfold small napkins, fold large napkins in half and place them with the fold towards you.
- Do you stand up or do you leave? Then place the napkin loosely folded to the left of your plate. Never on your plate.
- Never blow your nose into your napkin.
- And despite what you sometimes see in the movies, it is NOT a good idea to tuck your napkin into your collar like a bib.
- At a restaurant and there is cutlery or crockery that is not completely clean? Then just ask the waiter again, don't wipe it with your napkin.
- Tampered? Then dab with your napkin and ask for water if necessary. Never dip your napkin in a glass of water. Did you mess with someone else? Then offer your napkin (yes, we want to avoid embarrassing situations). Offer to pay for the dry cleaning.
5. The world of cutlery
Cutlery: a world of rules in itself!
- First the most obvious one: fork = left hand, knife = right hand. They are not supposed to change hands while eating, not even for practical reasons (and no, not even to make a hole in the puree).
- You cut food with your knife and slide it onto your fork. No food is pierced with the knife and no food is pierced. Certainly. Not. At. You. Knife. Leaked. Leftover food on your knife that is too tasty to pass up? Wipe your knife on your fork and work it down.
- A bit similar for dishes where you need a fork and a spoon (e.g. rice): you push the food onto the spoon with your fork and you eat from the spoon.
- Multiple knives, forks and spoons next to your plate? You start with the outer row in the first course and work your way inward.
- Forks are on the left, knives and spoons on the right, that's a no brainer. Fish forks (not fish knives) are on the right, as are shellfish forks. Dessert cutlery is above your plate, but NOT the coffee spoon. It is on the right or usually comes with the coffee :-). When the dessert starts, slide the dessert cutlery to the sides of your plate (fork on the left, spoon on the right).
- If you take a break while eating, place your cutlery crosswise on your plate. All done? Then place your cutlery on your plate at 'ten past four' OR place the cutlery next to each other in the middle of your plate, the fork with the tines down, and the knife on the right, with the cutting edge to the left.
- After dessert or soup, place (tea) spoons and dessert forks next to the bowl, do not let them stick in it. Don't push your plate in front of you when you've finished and don't start stacking plates.
6. Drinks and drinks
First rule: don't drink too much. Sounds old-fashioned, but still. And how else are you going to remember all those rules?
Books have been written with rules about the etiquette for drinking and tasting wine. So if you want to know everything about that, we recommend shopping for such a book.
A basic rule: hold wine glasses by the stem so that the wine does not warm up due to the heat of your hand and you do not leave fingerprints on the glass.
You don't drink a digestif in one go, but with small sips.
7. Attitude is everything
They may have told you often enough as a child: sit upright at the table. Keep your legs close to your chair, not against the feet of the person sitting opposite you.
Pass on bowls of bread, butter, sauce, etc. to others, even if you don't eat it yourself. You pass on the right. Is there a handle on the bowl? Then you direct it to the person you are passing on to.
Another easy one: do you need something from the other side of the table that you can't easily reach? Then ask. Do not reach your entire length across the table.
And oh yeah, never say "I'm full" if you're offered food after you've finished. That's really not polite. Thank you just politely.